New Year's Eve

I'm typing from the Minneapolis airport awaiting my flight home from a wonderful time at INK '08. I feel so honored to have spent the last three days with exceptional men and women from around the world. Mostly graduate and doctoral students, these dear souls are so gifted in mind and yet so beautifully humble and hungry in heart. Thank you all for receiving me so warmly.

The days were filled with rich teaching from new friends, worship from many nations, laughter from deep within, and prayer for the world. The only awkward moment for me personally was looking up from the stage after I finished my first session and realizing that the retreat center had chosen to decorate their walls with an assortment of dead animal heads topped off (no pun intended) by a 6' stuffed brown bear at the entrance. Let's just say that I didn't grow up in a hunting family...

This INK conference has bookended 2008 for me. I spent December 31st, 2007 with them worshiping and praying as 2008 began and today I spent December 31st, 2008 with them as 2008 concludes. It's perspective-inducing, to hear their hearts for their countries, realize the enormous pressure and challenges they face, to see their faith in action, to receive their generous love.

So with God's enormous love for all nations fresh in my heart, I'm heading home to be with my tribe: my mom, my amazing husband, and my precious children. I'll arrive before 2009 begins and en route I've been overwhelmed by God's goodness throughout this year. Tonight, Lord willing as I land safely in Missouri, I will hug my Mom who is waiting for me already at the airport. Tonight I will relax in Bear's arms when he greets me at home. Tonight I will kiss my beloved children and watch them while they sleep. And tonight I will thank my God for his gracious hand in our lives.

on Christmas

A few minutes into December 26th, I thought I'd post my favorite memories from the last few days.

At the top of the list was...

...dear Keona playing the part of Mary as we read the Christmas story on Christmas Eve. Looking very sincere in her costume (a towel around her head tied with a pink bandana), Keona grunted LOUDLY right after I read, "And when it came time for the baby to be born."

...my mother leading us in a chorus of Happy Birthday to Jesus as our Christmas meal prayer.

...Louie running about saying "Car-ee! Car-ee!" as he opened and played with his presents all day.

...wonderful games of pinochle and rumikube with all the grandparents.

...Keona's costume changes throughout the day. She started in her new princess costume, switched over the Louie's clothes, followed by her new sweatshirt from Granny Angie, then on to her little sailer outfit, and concluded the day with her new pink robe.

...and this year we decided to give Jesus presents (since it's his birthday). So we made cards and placed them in the manger after reading about the wisemen bringing Jesus gifts. Barry and I gave gifts of prayer retreats and study plans. Keona gave Jesus love and an assortment of crafts she made. Grandparents gave Jesus adoration and prayer. Jona shared honestly that he was "too shy" to write down his gift: "I like privacy with God," he said. And Louie? Well, we put our cards in the crib/manger. Louie put himself in the crib. Enough said.

stepping outside

Another season of writing has begun. These days are rich for my soul. Over the last week I've been editing the "former atheist" book and beginning the new devotional. This afternoon I'm snuggled under a quilt with a hot mug of organic mint tea, a box of Kleenex, warm slippers, and my laptop.

The writing has flowed smoothly, paused only for a short podcast interview from D.C. and a somewhat longer distress call from below. Dad was firing up the wood stove for the first time and as the stove "cured" and the smoke billowed, our dear Jonathan feared he would die from the fumes.

While Bear addressed the root of the fireplace problem, I tended to the fruit from the problem. "Jona," I said calmly, "you won't die. Let's put on winter coats and go outside." Part of Asperger's strength is the ability to hyper-focus on a problem. Part of the shadow of that strength is a vulnerable to getting one's brain "stuck" on a problem. Jona was stuck.

Breathing the fresh (freezing!) outside air, he began to calm down. Watching him I remembered that one of my doctor's recommended spending at least 10 minutes each day outside regardless of the weather. She is wise. There's something about stepping outside that is perspective-inducing...

In fact, I think I'll go find my shoes.

prayer

I've read it countless times, but today it was as though Jesus' words shouted at me:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened...If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Mt 7.7-8, 11

I read them over and over and each time their vibration grew louder in my spirit.

Lately, I've been reading The Beginner's Guide to Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets. Sheets clearly emphasizes that the motivation for prayer and intercession is intimacy with God. On page 83, Sheets states:

"When we move into the unselfish ministry of interceding for someone, God finds it irresistible and meets (paga) with us. He always loves our company, but when we begin to represent His beloved Son, the heart of the Father is stirred beyond His ability to resist."

The combination of what I've been meditating on and Jesus' words caused a rise of faith inside me. You know those moments: when you experience faith, a certainty, that God is listening and longing to respond to his children.

So I began to pray for the issues that are dearest to my heart: my children's spiritual and relational futures, my husband's continued strength, our precious marriage's continued growth, health in body and spirit for my mom, God's hand to sovereignly open and close doors, God's favor to rest upon the message of Anonymous, God's guidance as I begin to write the new devotional...

Theologically, I know that prayer is powerful. Today I felt it--and though that is not the norm for me, it was still wonderfully refreshing for my soul.

Though its mysteries are many, somehow our human prayers cooperate with God's purposes on earth. "Ask, and it will be given to you..." Jesus said.

And he wasn't selling anything.

jonathan's questions

Thought I'd invite you into a few moments of my home school day this morning with my dear 11.5 year old Jonathan. These questions arose from our devotional time studying Mark 2:

"What's the difference between magic and miracles?"

"What if God the Father paid for our sins instead of Jesus?"

"What if the stories in the Bible weren't true?"

"How do you know if spiritual power is from God or Satan?"

"How did people have their sins forgiven before the cross?"

"Jesus died for everyone's sins. So is everyone already forgiven?"

and on a lighter note later in the morning during reading comprehension...

"Why did God give us fingernails? Wouldn't we have less germs on our fingers if we didn't have fingernails??"

"Why is miniaturization such a BIG word?!"